The Privileged Few – Happy Thanksgiving…

The World Population melted down.  100 Sampled individuals

80 would live in poverty
70 would be literate
50 would suffer hunger and malnutrition
1 would be dying
1 would be being born
1 would own a computer
1 would have a University degree

If you’ve never experienced the horror of war, the solitude of prison, the pain of torture and were not close to death from starvation, then are better off than 500 million people.

If you can go to your place of worship without fear that someone will assault or kill you, then you are luckier than 3 Billion people.

If you have a full fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are wealthier than 75% of the world’s population

If you currently have money in the bank, in your wallet and a few coins in your purse, you are one of the 8 privileged few amongst the 100 people in the world.


On the Hammock: Productivity and My Natural Time

So, last night I got caught up in my little fantasy world and spent a fair amount of time on the Internet looking for hits to support that world.  That is sexual fantasy in case you are wondering.  Once I get going, the obsession to continue is  like a form of self-hypnosis. I have ADD and can get obsessed with one activity to the exclusion of all others including food or water.  This is one of them. I like to read stories. I am not much into videos or live action; I find very little about them that’s exciting.  But I do like Hentai and I’ve discovered the adult /erotic /BDSM/ pornographic comic art of Ferres and other illustrators.

When I next looked up and closed down my computer, it was around 2:00 am in the morning so I knew an early start was out of the question. Typically I like to be up and about by 9am,  just as if I was going to work.  It was then I decided I would just flow with my natural time today and if I didn’t get anything done, so be it.  It would be a health day.

Tragic Love by Ferres

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Don’t Quit Your Day Job

I didn’t. Instead, I got laid off today. I’m sharing it here because a few weeks or months from now I want to return and see in print exactly how I felt this day…surprisingly, pretty darn good!

Yes, there was shock. Being in a room with five others experiencing the same thing. My mind distanced itself from my body a bit and went into auto-pilot.  It became difficult to write my information or hear what the outplacement guy was saying. My body just wanted to stay still and recover.

After that — I felt free. My body recovered, my mind linked back and I started to feel almost–exhuberant.  My mind was planning, checklisting…thinking, even as I packed my stuff and talked with the operations manager and my supervisor. No awkwardness whatsoever.  It also seemed that each person involved was doing their part in a caring, thoughtful way.  The only jarring note was the HR Director, who is always on-site during layoffs, was linked in by phone due to some plane issues (Icelandic volcano-caused, I think).

In the coming week, I’ll be updating my LinkedIn profile and requesting the recommendations my managers offered (while the memory and the guilt of laying me off are still fresh). I may do a Youtube elevator pitch or introduction.  I’ll contact the outplacement firm and begin to update my resume. I already called my former life coach and asked her to work with me again for 3 months. And I have a spot reserved in an upcoming small 6-week peer support group of career changes/job seekers called Success Teams.

I will also be grieving the loss of the physical act of going to work and working with the wacky, strange and wonderful guys on my team.  After almost 11 years of working for this company, I know I need to find or create a new structure, fast. It helps that I have a fast approaching deadline and an article to write.  Check out my latest on — I interviewed  three rockstars of the curly world on curl highlighting techniques — Christo, creator of the Curlisto haircare line, Denis Da Silva of Devachan, and Antonio Gonzales, master stylist at Orlando Pita Salon and a blogger and columnist for

I got laid off, but I feel like life is good. I feel taken care of.  It feels like God cleared the decks, gave me a soft landing and created a safe, open space for me to do…what? Follow him, and create whatever he tells me to.

Random Thoughts

I used to worry about things so much more than I do now. I guess the therapy is working.

My car was due for inspection in December and I’m driving around with an expired sticker because it burns oil and needs a new catalytic converter which it is not going to get. I don’t care.

My engine light has been on for 9 months (that burning oil) – I don’t care! Car’s driving fine, 60 miles a day.

Toyota did a mega recall? I don’t care. I’m buying another Toyota, just not in the recalled years/models. Gotta be some great bargains out there. My respect goes out to the CEO who has apologized profusely and taken personal responsibility for the mess. Just don’t go and commit seppuku, Toyoda-san. Fix the problem.

I’m blessed to have a job that I do well, that goes nowhere, and is fairly undemanding right now. And I’m blessed to have a vacation day from it. I’m so glad January and February are relatively slow.

I am worried about getting approved for my mortgage refinance. And yes, I have thoughts about being laid off right after I refinance for a higher mortgage. But I won’t be carrying more debt than I can handle. I’m reducing my APR by a point, I can purchase a new-to-me car without a car payment, start rehabbing my condo. I’ll be able to pay off stupid credit card debt and repurpose that money to servicing the mortage, and to my retirement fund.

Our culture/media is way too celebrity-struck and there are far too many reality shows on TV. If you feel the need for celebrity worship, try walking into a church (or into a meadow), getting on your knees and worshiping a real God whose power, love and compassion are real, inside you and around you.

Speaking of which, I’m thankful God knocks me upside the head in gentle ways to get my attention. I can get so complacent. Self-doubt is my quicksand. Need, passion, and the desire to change and fix are my fuels. Thanks for the book, The 4-Hour Work Week, God! Thank you for showing me I do have the time!

My biggest problem is aligning/changing the distorted view I have of myself to map with my true character. I don’t think of myself as a responsible person, but my deepening relationship with God is exposing this as a lie. I was nominated to be a Vestry member at my church, and after talking with my therapist, I accepted. I said to him, “I don’t feel responsible enough.” He rolled his eyes. Therapists don’t do that.  And I told the member who issued the invitation, ” do you know how infrequently I go to church?” Well, that’s changing. I’m showing up more. Guess I’ll grow into it. And what a great way to learn about the fiscal and property management of a church, and be among a group of other “responsible” people — lawyers, doctors, financial folk, teachers, parents, musical directors, what all. I still feel like the kid at a grownup gathering.

I was worried my elderly 17-ish cat was going to die until I realized he is old because he is so darn healthy and well cared for! He could die if he were younger too. Now I force a 1/2 tsp of Syn Flex glucosamine complex down his protesting throat to ease his stiff hind leg joints. I take it too LOL. And he gets lots of hugs and pampering while he’s still breathing. When he dies, he’ll die happy. With supple joints.

If only I could download that Vision Map/Dreamboard software at Guess I’ll try again. Vision mapping is the truth, even if you don’t do it with intention. When I realized I almost turned into my avatar (Hugh Laurie as the Prince Regent) that’s when I changed it to this long, bushy white-haired gal. So much better than a curly wig.

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